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Being stoic

Clara Langan

Updated: Jan 6, 2021

I remember expecting my first child shortly and my mother giving me the “talk”. The gist of what she said was: Women have been having children since the creation of humans. We all do it– it is how you do it that shows who you are. In our family, we do it elegantly.


Then she proceeded to tell me how my great-grandmother did it. When she knew the baby was coming, she’d take two buckets of warm water and some towels into her room. She’d have her baby, clean everything up, get herself and baby presentable and then let her husband come into the room so that he is the first person to see the child.


What am I supposed to do with that information? Well, I went to the hospital, read magazines quietly until it was time to deliver, and had the baby. The only snag was when my husband, a French man, wanted to come into the delivery room. I didn’t want him to be there , but the doctors and nurses convinced me that he should (like I’m going to argue with all the pain I was trying to manage!) so I relented after a promise from my husband that he’d not look down there….


It is amazing what a human can do if they are convinced it is the right thing to do.This is why I am constantly amazed that parents are always trying to shield their children from hurts. I feel, more often than not, that when I told my children to be stoic and strong in an adverse situation, they came through valiantly and proudly. (More about these situations some other time….) I believe it is teaching children how best to learn to live with adverse situations that better prepares them for life.




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